Self-Harm and suicide can be tough topics for many people to wrap their minds around, and just thinking about them can also bring up a lot of emotions and triggers for people with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Suicide is now the second most common cause of death among young people between ages 10-24.

Yes, You Should Be Concerned

“More than 1 in 3 students and nearly half of female students reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness in 2019, and 1 in 5 seriously considered suicide, says Jessica Tomasula, PhD, licensed pediatric pscychologist and manager of WakeMed Mental Health & Well-Being. “These startling statistics have only risen in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic.”

Parents are rarely fully aware of all the different types of pressures youth are struggling with on any given day at school, online, or in their close social circles. It’s important for parents to understand the facts and prepare for the possible needs of their children regardless of any currently known suicide risks or harmful behaviors.

“It’s a real challenge to keep up with everything our kids face these days,” says Dr. Tomasula. “They encounter things in ways we never experienced at their age.”

Dr. Tomasula encourages adults and youth to set aside stigmas about mental health needs. And she emphasizes that families need to stop thinking that self-harm and suicide only happens to ‘those people’ because of ‘this or that’ issue that doesn’t relate to them. Whether or not you know of any problems, it is essential to talk with your child about their mental health and let them know you care about them. You really never know when your child, a friend or another family member might need you to hear them and help them.

By taking time to learn, listen and establish open communication lines with your children, families can build a foundation of understanding and trust that can be a game changer when life gets stressful and messy.

Make Mental Health a Priority

When you consider a person’s overall health and wellness, you have to look at the interplay between physical and mental health. Untreated mental health conditions, such as depression, can worsen or lead to the development of chronic physical health conditions.

Be open-minded and observant when it comes to the mental health of your child and any loved ones. There may be physical health signs that indicate something else is going on that needs your attention.

Why Youth Self-Inflict Harm

Sometimes self-harm is a behavior that is seen when youth are trying to punish themselves or decrease and distract from negative emotions. “For others, causing pain or harm to oneself may be a way of reducing a feeling of numbness or dissociation, but many times it also serves as a communication tool,” says Dr. Tomasula. “It can also act as a gateway to suicide attempts as it increases the capacity to endure pain and dulls self-preservation.”

Seek Help; Don’t Delay!

Self-harm is a suicide-related behavior. Parents, caregivers and friends should seek help for a child who is self-inflicting harm or behaving in other dangerous activities such as reckless driving or the use of drugs or alcohol.

Parents should avoid any sudden reactions that might feel like a punishment if a child has self-inflicted harm or is showing any sign of suicidal thoughts or plans.

“If you need to take away the car keys or their phone, or make other difficult changes for their safety, proceed with caution and calmly explain that you are acting out of concern and love for them,” says Dr. Tomasula. “Explain that they are not being punished but rather protected, and make sure they know that you love them and that you are going to get them help.”

Dr. Tomasula warns parents against trying to sort things out as a family when self-harm or suicidal behaviors arise. Don’t expect yourself or your child to navigate those treacherous waters alone. Get them connected to a mental professional as soon as possible – before things get worse.

Remember, what they need most from you during a mental health crisis is love and access to help so make an appointment for them and give them a number to call.

The National Suicide Prevention Line is 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or text TALK to 741741.

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), most people who take their lives exhibit one or more warning signs either through what they say or do.