Medically Reviewed by Elizabeth Cleland-Roberts, MD, FAAP
Crying is how babies communicate, and in the beginning they cry a lot. Sometimes, parents can easily determine what a baby needs, and it’s often simply time to feed them or change their diaper. At other times, the crying can be more puzzling. The baby might be uncomfortable, too hot, cold — or experiencing pain, such as gas or acid reflux.
Elizabeth Cleland-Roberts, MD, FAAP, medical director, WakeMed Children’s – Pediatric Primary Care, says that babies really are in charge in the early days and months of their life, and frequent crying is normal. The main thing parents can do to soothe them is to make sure the baby’s basic needs are met and that they feel comforted and cared for in this important developmental time.
If crying doesn’t subside with feeding or a dry, clean diaper, take a closer look at how they seem. Check their hands, feet, lips, breathing and body temperature to make sure nothing seems abnormal. If all seems ok, but they continue to cry, Dr. Cleland-Roberts says there are several soothing steps you can take to help calm babies.
“Shushing and swishing and swaying can all help recreate that feeling of the womb,” shares Dr. Elizabeth Cleland-Roberts.
“A lot of us are taught not to spoil kids, but you can’t spoil a neonate or infant, and it’s important to respond to their needs, which include being held and comforted,” explains Dr. Cleland-Roberts. “Babies need lots of attention and close personal connections.”
To help soothe babies, she recommends trying the 5 S’s, which were pioneered by Harvey Karp, MD.
- Swaddling helps infants feel snug and stops the flailing of limbs, which is caused by the Moro reflex. Swaddle nice and tight but allow room for legs and hips to move freely.
- Side/Stomach positioning (ONLY while awake) can provide some relief from gas pain. You can place your baby’s tummy against your arm with their head in your hand or crook of your arm.
- Shushing sounds that go past the ear (not in or directly at it) can help calm babies. Try making a shush that passes by the baby’s ear approximately 2 to 4 inches away from their head. As the baby begins to calm, soften the shush sound. Some babies may sleep better with a soft but continual shushing, which can be created with a white noise machine.
- Swinging or other rhythmic movements such as rocking, dancing and pats on the back can be helpful. Start with slightly faster movement (but never ever shake a baby) and ease into slower, calmer movement as the baby begins to settle down. Some babies will also find comfort in a baby carrier that allows them to be close as a parent takes care of things around the house. Car rides and stroller walks are also comforting to many babies. Baby swings and bouncers can be both fun and calming, but they should always be supervised.
- Sucking is extremely soothing to babies, and many have been sucking since in the womb so it’s a natural transition for them to enjoy sucking on bottle nipples, breasts, fingers and pacifiers.
Soothing & Sleep
Newborns and infants need to eat and have their diaper changed frequently so they aren’t going to sleep for long periods of time.
Typically a newborn is going to sleep for 20 to 50 minutes and will want to eat every couple of hours, which means parent sleep schedules won’t be the same for a while either.
“In the early months, families should try to remain flexible and let go of less important tasks so they can grab rest when possible and do their best to care for the baby,” observes Dr. Cleland-Roberts. “The crying and sleepless nights don’t last forever, and you’ll eventually figure out your family’s new routine so try to embrace the together time and get to know your baby.”
As newborns grow and develop, your pediatrician can provide guidance regarding the amount and frequency of sleeping and feeding to expect. Keep in mind that the development and needs of premature and neonate babies can vary greatly.
According to Dr. Cleland-Roberts, “While parents can help soothe babies to sleep, they shouldn’t have expectations for any type of sleep schedule before 4 to 6 months, and it’s important to understand that newborn babies aren’t able to start soothing themselves back to sleep until around 6 months. Everything inside of newborn babies is immature so they can’t control reflex movements, and that is why swaddles and sleep sacks can help them relax and sleep better.”
Some babies might fight the swaddle because they want to suck on their hand, and some sleep sacks are designed to keep a hand out for that reason.
Tummy Time
Since everything is so new, it can take a while for babies’ systems to get used to processing food, and that leads to uncomfortable gas.
“Early on, simply holding them tummy down on your arm is helpful, and you can start doing some supervised, awake tummy time on the floor around 1-month-old. Remember, babies should always be placed on their back to sleep in a safe crib on a flat mattress that is free of blankets, bumpers, toys and other items.”
Crying Concerns
Sometimes you’ve tried everything, and the baby will not stop crying.
“As long as you know they are safe and not sick, it is ok and sometimes even helpful to take a break by putting them in their crib and stepping away for a little while,” offers Dr. Cleland-Roberts. “Babies can sense your anxiety, and patience and understanding is important so take a deep breath and know that it’s ok to ask for help if you’re exhausted or feeling stressed out.”
Call your pediatrician’s nurse line to share your concerns and tell them how you’re feeling. Also ask family members and friends if they can come help so you can take more breaks.
Seek Medical Help
If you’ve met a baby’s basic needs, but they are still crying and any of the following occurs, it’s time to see a doctor:
- The baby is sick, especially if they have a fever of more than 100.4 F
- Crying constantly for more than three hours
- Cry sounds different, or they appear to be in pain
- Feeding is difficult or noticeably reduced
- Baby is vomiting or having diarrhea
- You cannot soothe the baby
- You are scared, tired, angry or feel like you might hurt the baby
Never shake a baby.
Most parents think this is something you’d never do, but it does happen at times so remember not to hold a baby when you are frustrated or angry. New parents are usually lacking sleep and juggling a lot.
ASK FOR HELP!
Childhelp 24/7 Hotline
SAFEchild
About Elizabeth Cleland-Roberts, MD, FAAP
Dr. Elizabeth Cleland-Roberts earned her medical degree from the East Carolina University Brody School of Medicine (Greenville, N.C.) and completed her internship and residency in pediatrics at the University of North Carolina Hospitals (Chapel Hill, N.C.). She earned her bachelor’s degree in biology at The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (UNC-CH). She joined the WakeMed team in 2014.
Dr. Cleland-Roberts is board certified. She is a member of the North Carolina Pediatric Society and the American Academy of Pediatrics.
This blog is adapted from an article in our Families First Magazine. Interested in getting future issues of Families First delivered to your home? Subscribe here.
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