The holidays are here again! This is the time of year to enjoy the most delectable desserts and connect with the people you love. While you are feasting on gingerbread cookies, red velvet cake and that famous favorite dessert (mine is Washington State apple cake) – this is the prime time to initiate crucial conversations with your loved ones about advance care planning.

I have completed hundreds of advance directives over my career, and I can’t tell you how many people have told me they wish they had not waited until they were in a health crisis to have an advance directive completed.

Don’t wait. The time to talk is now. If you’ve learned anything over the past two years of the COVID-19 pandemic, I hope it’s that when you have the opportunity to gather with family, you need to have meaningful conversations, one of which should include advance care planning.

Here’s what you need to cover:

What is Advance Care Planning?
Having the right attitude
Why is it important to talk about Advance Directives?

The Time is Now for Advance Care Planning

There is a misconception that advance care planning is for older folks who are chronically ill. However, it is for all adults. It is thinking and talking about future healthcare decisions if you have a sudden event like a car accident or illness and are not able to make your own decisions.

When I informed my husband of my own wishes for what medical decisions I would want him to make on my behalf if I suddenly became unwell, he said, “Don’t tell me what to do.” We laughed about it because he said it in a joking way, but it prompted me to fill out my own advance directive. It let me know that he would have a hard time making some decisions, so I took that off his plate and made those decisions for myself.

Document the Details

Here’s some help on how to ask about the topic:

Ask the person if they have an advance directive, e.g., a Healthcare Power of Attorney (HCPOA) or a Living Will.
If they do not, encourage them to take a look at completing a HCPOA: a legal document designating a healthcare agent, proxy or surrogate to make medical decision if the person is not able; and/or a Living Will: a legal document stating a person’s desires about life-prolonging measures at end-of-life.
If they have an advance directive, ask if they have shared their wishes with their healthcare agent and medical providers. Also ask if they have added the document to their health records to make it easy to locate.

Life Happens. Be Prepared.

We do not have crystal balls to know what may suddenly happen. That is why it is best not to leave important medical treatment decisions in the hands of strangers or loved ones who may already have to make hard decisions.

Joanne Lynn, MD, says, “Advance care planning is about planning for the ‘what ifs’ that may occur across the entire lifespan.”

While navigating this pandemic, more people have been willing to at a minimum talk about their wishes. This is what I call “having the right attitude.” During this holiday season, I urge you to go ahead and at least have the conversation, so you can get back to having food, fun and fellowship!

Learn More About Advance Care Planning

If you would like more information, have questions or want a copy of the advance directive forms, please visit WakeMed Advance Care Planning.

Monica Young

Advance Care Planning Program Coordinator, WakeMed Raleigh Campus

Monica B. Young, D. Min., M.Div., M.Ed. completed her undergraduate degree at NC A & T State University in Business Administration (B.S.) and her post graduate training at Fort Valley State University. Monica has provided spiritual care for the last eight years, serving as a chaplain and stress counselor before joining the spiritual care staff in this role. She has partnered with Transitions Palliative Care to offer spiritual care and advanced care planning to patients with chronic illnesses who are facing end-of-life decisions. She is currently enrolled as a student at Campbell Divinity School studying Pastoral Counseling and Chaplaincy. She and her husband Rick, have three children and three grandchildren.